Sunday, November 4, 2012

Let's Talk: Project Unbreakable & No More



I'd like to bring to your attention two organizations/projects that are very important to me. Project Unbreakable and No More. Both organizations deal with sexual assault; No More also focuses on domestic violence, while Project Unbreakable just focuses on sexual assault. 

Project Unbreakable is a project founded in 2011 by a photographer named Grace Brown. She tours the country and photographs victims holding a poster with a quote from their attacker. No More, on the other hand, is more of an organization that wants to bring awareness to domestic violence and sexual assault. Personally, I think both organizations are great and I'm working towards bringing awareness to sexual assault and domestic violence (mainly sexual assault). 

Why am I talking about this and bringing this to your attention? Well, it's not just because it's an important subject and it's wrong, it's also due to the fact that I was sexually assaulted. 

Here's my story. 

Except for my parents, I never really told anyone this story. I tried telling my friends, but they could care less. All they said was “Was he good looking?”

I knew this guy from my psychology class and ever since the first day of class, I sensed this bad vibe from him. I never liked him since day one. Later in the semester he asked me to study with him and I told him no. The following semester we meet again, in the hallway this time. I said hi to him just to be nice. Later that day, he found me in the cafeteria having lunch and then outside on the bench waiting for math class. He asked me if I wanted to go the park, which was a few blocks away from campus. I tried getting out of it, I tried to lie my out of it; but I felt forced to go with him, so I did. That’s when he sexually assaulted me. He touched me inappropriately, he forced me to kiss him, said things to me that I don’t even remember, and he did a few other things. I was shaken to the core. Somehow I went to math class that afternoon. I was broken inside, I cried most of the day. The memory of the incident plagued me for a whole year, I would get flashbacks of him forcing me to kiss.

After the incident, I would see him everywhere I went on campus. I would have to be on guard, put my guard up, run from him, change my direction/go in a different direction. I was extremely uncomfortable on campus that whole year.

To this day I have trust issues with guys especially. I feel uncomfortable whenever I get close to a guy. It’s been 2 years now since the incident and I still have trust issues, but I am stronger than ever. I’m not afraid to talk to guys and I plan on going on a date soon. Even though I have trust issues and I feel uncomfortable when I get close, I’m not afraid to be in a relationship or to be loved by someone anymore. I got through it and with time everything started getting better. I’m stronger than ever. 

So, that's my story. Like I said above, I haven't really told anyone and I feel like my story should be told and heard by everyone. I don't speak about it a lot and unfortunately, when meeting a guy, I have to tell them within the first few conversations. That way, they understand why I'm acting a certain way. 

If you've been sexually assaulted or domestically abused, stay strong and don't ever give up! Don't let your attacker get the best of you, because I know I didn't. Yes, it'll take awhile to move on and you might never completely forget it/get over it, but in time things will get better, trust me. 

Remember, time is cure for everything. 

Stay strong and have a lovely day!
xoxo

6 comments:

  1. Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :( That guy is an ass and I hope he gets what is coming to him.

    But what also bothers me about this post? Your friends. I'm sorry, but asking if your abuser is attractive does NOT make you a good friend. I really hope you stood up for yourself and dropped them out of your life. That is NOT an appropriate thing to say to someone who was just assaulted. Maybe this is me being way too harsh(because I know I can be), but I absolutely would cut them out if they responded to my very traumatic ordeal like that.

    Either way, I'm happy that you're talking about it and trying to move on. I can't even imagine what that must have been like at the time or even what you are going through afterward. There are people out there who you can talk to about this, so please don't hesitate to look for support groups if you need to. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you *hugs* I did drop cut those friends out of my life.

      Delete
  2. I'm sorry to hear about what you've experienced Courtney. Stay strong!

    By the way, I found you via the GFC Hop and just followed your blog. I'd appreciate if you can visit my blog and follow it back. Please leave a comment once you have so I would know you stopped by.

    Labrijoy
    http://realitystrikesmommy.blogspot.de/

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a very moving post and I hope it helps others to speak out and not stay in the dark. Do not let an attacker make a victim of you for the rest go your life. My neighbor recently got attacked and fortunately she was helped by an angel. The good thing is the man did not get to rape her, the bad thing is he got away.
    People need to know how to be safe and how to be aware of thing around them.
    I want to thank you for sharing this and I am following you now.
    Jillian
    http://puzzlemecomplete.blogspot.com/2012/11/anticipating-grenada.html

    ReplyDelete
  4. All I can say is wow! You are so brave to share this, I am very impressed. So Much so I am your newest follower. Thank you for sharing this story, stay strong!

    Much Love,
    http://amyklundt.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi lovely, I stopped by your blog because I was drawn to the awesome name you've decided to call it! I'm so sorry you had to go through that nasty event. I'm sure it would be terrible,and to feel alone after it happened is really too bad. I'm proud of you for speaking out against abuse and spreading the word :)

    ReplyDelete

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